I am intrigued by what I see watching my children interact with one another, their classmates and their friends. They are 6, 5 and nearly 3yrs old. At these ages, they are COMPLETELY honest about all of their feelings and express them to one another without fear of consequence or rejection. The offending party generally looks shocked that they have upset their friend and then they chat about it or decide to part ways and play with others. If the latter was decided, within 5 minutes the friends are authentically playing together again. No grudges held, no rehashing of past events, no judgment, just truly living in and enjoying the moment.
This made me wonder at what age do we start to not express ourselves for fear of what others might think or say? At what age do we become judgmental? At what age do we begin to develop a lack of trust for past offenders and hold grudges? At what age do we lose compassion? I understand self-preservation and not allowing another human to repeatedly hurt us emotionally or physically, but it seems that in society today, the slightest indiscretion can be grounds for dismissal. What is that about?
Perhaps my lack of filtration and over sensitive, expressive nature has been passed down to my children. I love to watch them be able to share exactly what is on their minds without a second of thought to how the receiver might respond. They are open, honest and vulnerable. It’s beautiful. I don’t see them say something or do something and then wish they could take it all back. They spoke what was in their hearts or minds in that moment and they own it and the receiver hears it and then it all passes. It’s such a lovely way to interact. It’s as if they all understand that everyone is just doing the best they can do on that day. In one moment, they can have really big feelings and they may behave badly. But in the next all is back to normal, life goes on. They’re just trying to have a good time. Aren’t we all?
Cheers- to honest, open, vulnerable, non-judgmental, compassionate, fun relationships!