After more than 12 years with my partner and three kids later, I have had the opportunity to watch our relationship evolve. In the beginning and for the first several childless years, it was all work hard, travel, sex and fun! We were perhaps unhealthily the center of one another’s universe. Fast forward to a move across the country and 3 kids within three years and here we are. I ADORE my husband, but I have had to adjust my expectations. We had somehow made the other our best friend, confidant, lover etc. etc. What I’ve realized with age and becoming parents is that we can’t possibly be all of those things to the maximum capacity any longer. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Instead of expecting my husband to be the “friend” I call to chat with about work or life or kids, I started reaching out to others. There was an adjustment period for both of us where we felt a little less connected. Perhaps too many of us think our relationships are failing if we are not getting every one of our needs met by our partner. In watching some of my single girlfriends date, I realize that ALL of us have very unreasonable and unrealistic expectations about what our significant other should be able to offer. Thing is, this is real life, it’s not fucking “Jerry Maguire”. My husband does NOT “complete me”. He makes me laugh, he lets me cry, he lets me be my whacky self, he gives me support, he parents with me, he loves me unconditionally. Honestly, that’s plenty. I think we have to be willing to create our own villages as we raise ourselves through adulthood. We have to be willing to outsource some of the meeting of our needs to others. Thereby, preserving our marriages and ultimately leading happier more fulfilling lives! End preach.